Devious Pasta

Duration: 60–90 minutes; serves 4–5

Ingredients:

• 400g pasta (any reasonable type)
• 500g chicken‐breast, chopped
  or 500g minced beef
• 250g mushrooms (any reasonable type), sliced
  or 1 carrot, peeled and chopped
• 2 cans chopped tomatoes (or specific pasta‐sauce)
• 1 courgette, chopped
• 1 pepper, coursely chopped
• 1 onion, diced
• 1tbsp olive‐oil
• 2 cloves garlic [optional]

Steps:

1. Heat the olive‐oil in a saucepan – medium‐sized or large, respectively, for the two later methods.
2. Fry onion on medium heat for 2 minutes; if using garlic, add halfway through.
3. Add meat, cook for 5 minutes (or until all skin done, whichever is later).
4. Add the courgette, mushrooms/carrot, and pepper; stir frequently for 3 minutes.
5. Add the chopped tomatoes; leave to simmer.
6. Follow the below methods for cooking the pasta.
7. THE END

There are two methods for cooking the pasta:

1. Fill a large saucepan with water. Put on high heat until boiling. (A kettle could be used to speed up the boiling‐process.)
2. Thence, add the pasta; leave in for around 10 minutes.
3. Drain the pasta and stir it into the sauce.

OR

1. Add some extra water to the saucepan – maybe rinse out the chopped tomato–cans if not done already…
2. Increase the heat, but only slightly to avoid burning the sauce. Once the water reaches the boil, add in the pasta.
3. Leave it in until cooked – a completely unknown amount of time, maybe 20 minutes – if boiling too heavily, stir and/or reduce heat slightly.

Devious Stir‐Fry

Duration: 60 minutes? I can't remember…; serves 4–5

Ingredients:

• 4 noodle‐nests
• 500g chicken‐breast, chopped
  or 500g minced beef
• 1 courgette, chopped
• 1 pepper, coursely chopped
• 1 brown onion, finely diced
• 1 red onion, finely diced
• 1tbsp olive‐oil
• all the soy‐sauce you can muster
• 2 cloves garlic [optional]

Steps:

1. Fill a medium‐sized saucepan with water; set on medium/high heat. When the water reaches the boil, add the noodles and cook for the time specified. (Feel free to perform steps 2 and 3 during this time.)
2. Heat the olive‐oil in a large saucepan, frying‐pan, or wok; fry onions on high heat for 1–2 minutes.
3. Add the meat and garlic, if applicable; after 5 minutes or when thoroughly cooked, add the courgette and pepper, turning down the heat to medium.
4. Drain the noodles and add to the large pan; add soy‐sauce to taste. After around 2 minutes, remove the pan from heat and serve as soon as possible.